Broken Words
by KawaiiKowaiKoneko
Summary: "Oniisan, are you lost?" Heero reflects on those words as he sees a new girl in class. Song fic to Broken Words by Finger 11.


Warning: I'm expecting this one to be a real angsty one. It includes the GW boys, but also another character of mine. If you want her past, you'll have to read "Stay and Drown." It doesn't come into play but I think, I'm not sure yet, that this can be a stand alone. This is of Heero's POV and I hope I capture his thoughts correctly and don't make him too ooc.  
Notes: This was written early in the morning. I haven't eaten breakfast and I'm hungry, sick and m muscles are twitching sporadically. O_  
  
BROKEN WORDS  
Your sweet little hands  
Brush right past me  
Sometimes you don't understand  
Why you can't reach  
I bite when I don't want to bend  
How silent I can be  
So she is silent too  
She's the one who saw my words  
Broken, Torn at the seams  
And broken words were all she heard  
Now she's walking away from me  
Some never meant  
And some meant well  
The difference between us is so  
Hard to tell  
I was so shaken but now  
All I see  
Is everything she meant to me   
She's the one who saw my words  
Broken, Torn at the seams  
And broken words were all she heard  
Now she's walking away....  
(music)  
She's the one who saw my words  
Broken, Torn at the seams  
And broken words were all she heard  
Now she's walking away.  
She's the one who saw my words  
Broken, Torn at the seams  
And broken words were all she heard  
Now she's walking away ~Finger Eleven, Broken Words  
  
The girl walked into the class, her fingers running through her red hair. Heero knew immediately it wasn't natural.  
She was being introduced. Her name was Rashi Aoi. Japanese names don't sound right when like that. First name then last name. Heero's mind clung to those thoughts as the girl's almost almond shaped eyes searched through the class. Her eyes stopped at his and it seemed that she had to tug to turn away.  
"Your seat is beside Amy." the teacher told her, voice nasal and grating.  
Even more annoying than Duo's, who at the moment what chatting niceties with yet another new friend about the girl's physique. Turning slightly in his chair he gave Duo a glare that could have melted metal had it had its regular intensity. But right now, he didn't have the strength.  
Last nights mission had been hard on him, just as it was on Duo. He had known there was something wrong with the base, but since he couldn't figure out what it was, they had gone anyway.  
He was surprised Duo could act normal at all.  
They had destroyed the base completely, no survivors. Of course not. Not when they were so good at their job. They found out a little too late to stop the bombs that the base had been recently converted into a civilian refuge.  
How could they have overlooked that possibility?  
Have they all become so mechanical that they never second guessed anything anymore?  
Or was it because they were all just so tired that they want this war over with, no matter what....?  
What did it matter... he was a soldier and a soldier he will stay. He didn't know anything else.  
He remembered the little girl, her soft hair dripping with her spilt blood. Her dog, bones protruding from it's skin as it tried weakly to rise and live.  
He remembered the kindness she had shown him.  
"Onnisan, are you lost?"  
"I've been lost since I was born."  
I'm still lost.  
Was peace so valuable that they had to kill innocent people?  
How many more times do I have to kill that little girl and her dog?  
He felt small hands brush his own and he looked up. His eyes widened only marginally.  
  
//Your sweet little hands  
Brush right past me  
Sometimes you don't understand  
Why you can't reach//  
A little girl smiled at him and swiped her fingers over his hand.  
He snarled slightly, a growl coming from deep within his throat. This was not happening. He was hallucinating. Maybe he didn't get enough rest. That had happened before... not this realistic but...  
  
//I bite when I don't want to bend//  
She smiled sadly, understanding. The soldier in him was taking control over the lost little boy who was clawing his way up the sides of his cage towards the faded light... he had to get to the light.  
Heero stared at the girl in confusion, emotions warring within him. She smiled wider as she stared back.  
//How silent I can be  
So she is silent too//  
He whispered something to her, his mouth moving silently. He knew she would understand.  
  
//She's the one who saw my words  
Broken, Torn at the seams//  
She nodded, again sadness in her eyes. She was silent still, waiting for him to continue. To confess to her what she already knew.  
He continued to whisper, to mutter to her. She closed her eyes to him and turned away.  
  
//And broken words were all she heard  
Now she's walking away from me//  
He had to force himself to not reach out to her. He hadn't meant it that way!  
  
//Some never meant  
And some meant well//  
She stopped and turned again. She smiled again and he found his heart warming. Did she understand? Was she so like him now that she understood?  
  
//The difference between us is so  
Hard to tell//  
She nodded again, hearing his thoughts as plain words and he started. He felt the pencil in his hand drop onto the desk with a silent clatter and he leaned back in the chair he could no longer feel, trying to suppress the shaking his shoulders had taken to.  
  
//I was so shaken but now//  
She put her hand on his shoulders, a silent comfort. She was telling him it would be alright. He found himself smiling to her in reassurance.  
  
//All I see  
Is everything she meant to me   
She's the one who saw my words  
Broken, Torn at the seams//  
Now she took his calloused and rough hands into her small and delicate ones. She squeezed it tightly then let it drop back to the desk.  
"It will be alright." she told him. "Keep fighting for the peace you must have to live, to truly live and you will find what you're looking for." her voice hitched at the end. "And yet you already knew that." she was too mature... how could she be this way?  
Because you made her this way.  
"Onnisan, thank you. For believing." with that, she turned and started away.  
  
//And broken words were all she heard  
Now she's walking away....  
She's the one who saw my words  
Broken, Torn at the seams  
And broken words were all she heard  
Now she's walking away.  
She's the one who saw my words  
Broken, Torn at the seams  
And broken words were all she heard  
Now she's walking away//  
  
He didn't feel the need to stop her now. She had helped him, again. He knew what he needed to do.  
  
//He was looking for peace so blindly he hadn't realized he was already hollow.// Rashi had long since taken her seat and she was watching the small changes in the cold Japanese pilot's face. She smiled when his face finally cleared. Her insight, she knew, was getting better.  
//Don't loose sight, pilot, don't loose sight of what your looking for or you're already lost.// 


End file.
